What's Next?

October 01, 2009

It's 10:30 p.m.

The kids were in bed at 8.
The kheer I cooked today (4 batches) has been put in the fridge.
The two crockpots that I cooked kheer in today are washed and put away.
The other two are soaking.
The kids lunch boxes are washed and drying.
The floor is swept.
The house looks kind of cleaned.
The laundry is partially put away upstairs.
Damn. Just realized I missed Real Housewives of Atlanta - one the shows I watch to realize just how lucky I am to be me!
I sit down to work and I'm exhausted.

I can't write. I can't edit any more recipes. I can't keep my eyes open because it's not easy writing a cookbook/freelancing and taking care of two munchkins on my own all week.

But, what keeps me going is that it's still easier than doing the early morning shift. I still remember the days when I would fall asleep in the dentist chair with a drill in my mouth because I was so incredibly exhausted from an average of 4 hours a sleep a night over the period of three years.

Think about that when you turn on your early morning shows. That's what people do - get up at 1 a.m. or so to be up, dressed and ready for you to watch them by 5. What keeps us going is that most of us that work that shift love doing it. We're driven by the news of the morning - the top story, the lead. If I was still working I'd be asleep right now in preperation for an a.m. story on the Chicago bid for the Olympics. We'd be getting MOS likely in the A.M. from people on the street to get a sense of what they are feeling - building on the excitement in the city over this potential piece of huge news.

But, that's not what I'm doing. I am here, in my home perfecting my recipe for kheer. And why is that?

Well, because my kids were more important to me than the news of the day. Because I wanted to be the one to put them down at night and help them brush their teeth in the morning. The one who would understand when they complained daddy travels too much and the aupair left..'cause they really are okay. I wanted to be the one to wake up at 3 a.m. to hear "Mom...doo doo" (milk). I wanted to stop feeling guilty for being at work rather than take them to the one to help Aria out of her PJs in the back of the car across from the school because she was having a tough time that day getting motivated to go to school. Be the one to hear them sing Bollywood Tunes all the way to the back door of school - skipping. Even more important because last year it was all about crying. Be the one to hang out with them while they played Neha's DS with her buddies at Tae Kwon Do today while we waited the rain out.

So for all you folks who keep asking me, "Do you miss it?" Hell yes. But I wouldn't trade it for all the CNN jobs in the least not right now!

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